As I lurched from one life crisis to the next - there was always that one constant.
The people who want you to STAY IN YOUR LANE.
There are 2 reasons people WANT you to "stay in your lane".
1) They find you intimidating. You're a THREAT to their position because they see in you a BRILLIANCE you may not yet even be aware of - or has temporarily been trodden down.
2) They're SCARED. They wouldn't want to step into the LIMELIGHT themselves, don't want to upset the applecart and sure as shit don't want anyone looking at them EXCEPT to perhaps admire their latest Benz! ... But not for being a FREE-THINKER!
Yet... when you're at your lowest ebb - it's THESE people who will HAPPILY tell you to STAY IN YOUR LANE.
Because then you're not a problem. Not a threat. You're not going to upset their lives or force them to question their OWN actions.
From my lowest points, I remember:
1) I had a fancy horse whose lines could be traced all the way back to the Godolphin Arabian stallion of the 1700s (this will mean NOTHING to you if you're not in to horses 
, but basically it was the grand-pappy of modern breeding lines).
I was told to sell this horse and buy a "tinker horse" - that's a standard unbred, frequently ugly horse that just wasn't my thing.
Why? I always figured if you could afford a Ferrari but never wanted to take it out of second gear - then that was nobody's business but yours.
Why was my horse a threat? Why was owning this horse a threat? Did my horse actually GIVE a fuck that I owned it?
2) I was single and told to "stay in your lane".
My aspirations were too big. I was looking at men "out of my league". I needed to compromise (on nearly EVERYTHING!). I was too demanding.
Too much.
Be quieter.
Be a better "girl".
Acquiesce.
3) My career. I just "wasn't" enough apparently. What I did was not hitting the buttons of those who required a different perception.
It took ironically (!) - catching up with friends who knew me when I was 10 - and who remembered the FIREBRAND I was. They looked at me and talked to me in AWE.
And I felt ashamed and wondered WHAT THE FUCK had happened to this girl who everyone looked to for guidance and light?
Where did she go?
I've learned PAINFULLY over the years to trust my own instincts.
My INSTINCTS have NEVER LET ME DOWN!
Your GUT is never wrong.
You already know what to do - and it'll ONLY EVER be those who don't have your BEST INTERESTS at heart who want to slow you down.
KEEP SAFE IN YOUR BOX.
STAY IN YOUR LANE.
DON'T SCRIBBLE OUTSIDE THE LINES.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
Staying in the lines is something we teach 5 year olds - but are we actually right to do that? Shouldn't we just tell them to BE MESSY! CREATE your OWN FUCKING MESS. COLOUR your page WHEREVER the fuck you WANT!
The ONLY time you should EVER keep your eyes on YOUR OWN FUCKING LANE is when you've got a clear destination in mind and you keep taking your damned eyes off the road to check out someone ELSE's vehicle!
Some people like their lane. It's unchallenging. It's safe. It's small.
ALWAYS BE TOO MUCH!
