Perception is Not the Same as Reality – Are You Selling Yourself Short?

The day I got told that "perception is not the same as reality" was life-changing and brought about a crunch moment in my life which changed everything.


It might sound obvious to some of you that how you see yourself is not how others see you - but here's how it played out for me.

Back when I worked in corporate as the token 'foreign chick', I pretty much kept my head down. As a software engineer and project manager, I ensured that the work I put out was to a quality standard, finished the job, moved on to the next.

Turns out - that was a HUGE MISTAKE

I'd become increasingly frustrated in my role and was angling for a more managerial role - but nothing was coming my way.

My annual appraisal came around and I was looking forward to discussing my achievements with my brand new manager (whom I'd never actually met before!) and talk about how I could realise my ambitions within the corporate environment.

Approximately 2 minutes later I was a snotty, snivelling mess clutching a pile of damp tissues and knowing that my mascara was a lost cause!

My achievements had meant absolutely SHIT.

Me beavering way in my office had actually made me invisible - and not a valued member of the team.

I was shocked. Seriously stunned. Had all my hard work been for nothing?

I stood up for myself and asked my manager what was going wrong? Why wasn't my work good enough? 

I'll give him credit for seeing what I hadn't seen in myself and he explained that:


In a business environment you need to shout the fuck out when you do something great. Or perhaps even something mediocre.

Point is, you need to let people know.

Don't assume they're coming looking for you and observing and acknowledging that actually you ARE the best.

The meeting was pretty horrendous. It had shaken me to the core and made me question almost every decision I'd made in my corporate career to that date (more than 10 years with that company!).

But, on that day I realised that actually I didn't want that life. I didn't want the shmooze and the 'be seen' and the 'make the noise' in the office just so my managers would know that I'd done something. It seemed so silly to me that I was expected to jump up and announce my latest success rather than just nodding, smiling and moving on to the next task.

So yeh... didn't get my promotion - didn't get any true recognition, although my manager did see that I was doing as requested. Silently.

But that day changed my life.

I handed in my notice to forge my own way in the online entrepreneurial world and yet still it took a while for me to be able to shout out and tell people about my achievements.

Is it the same for you? Do you KNOW you're churning out AMAZING content and work and yet it seems like nobody's really paying attention to you because others seem to have the "gift of the gab"?

Well, here's what I've learned.

In the Online Coaching industry there are those who can "talk the talk" and are really good at putting themselves out there - but perhaps (being kind), we might describe their work as 'ambitious' - and then there are those who are perhaps not as good at marketing THEMSELVES - but really fucking deliver on the quality of their work and can "walk the walk". 

IMO there needs to be a balance. Nobody wants to work with someone who's all hot air and no substance - yet at the same time, if you're not being seen - then how can people KNOW that you are the best to be working with? 

I am confident when I write - and the beauty of the online world is that I can communicate with my clients via email - or blogs - or whatever I'm doing which is written... and I don't need to be seen at the 'works dinner'! πŸ˜‚

We all have our own strengths when it comes to marketing ourselves - like I say, I'm much happier with the pen/keyboard and that's when my creativity really shines - others are better on Social Media or making fun videos - but you really need to tune in to the best medium which aligns YOUR PERCEPTION WITH YOUR REALITY! 

Because if you're going to market and sell in an authentic way - then you'll find it so much easier to do this if you're conversing in the medium and attracting your clients in the way which is the easiest for you - less puff and hot air - and more REALITY - but because it's the best communication medium FOR you - then you get to display your reality - and that's how your customers will perceive you! 

Phew! Tricky!

To help you out, I've created a quiz to help you discover your MARKETING & SELLING SUPER-POWER!  so that you can ensure that what people SEE of you - is the REAL you and because it's the medium BEST ALIGNED to you - your customers will on a sub-conscious level know that you're the real deal. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy!

PS Nae regrets! Bit embarrassed it took me so long to figure the whole thing out - but office politics never was my shtick! 

Leave a Comment... I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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About Alex Sheach

Alex is an expert strategist with a flair for expressive writing which connects with her audience and evokes emotion.

She believes in the power of harnessing the written word and using it to demonstrate expertise, confidence and clarity when marketing online businesses.

She's anti-BS, anti-fluff and embraces grown-assed methodology for growing an online business with authentic Sales & Marketing strategies.

Nae drama!