Your Online Marketing is Boring me to Tears!

I'm serious.

I am SO fucking bored with your marketing - if that's even what you want to call it!

On WHICH planet is it acceptable for you to market yourself as a service-based online business and be so fucking bland?

You're in the market of marketing YOU and yet I don't know anything about you... aside that saccharine, bullshit, sweet-as-cherry-pie, same-as-everyone-else boring facade you're putting out there.

Give me ONE GOOD REASON why your clients would pick YOU over any other saccharine bore out there! Go on - just one! Cuz you got the cutesiest website? The prettiest font to go with your trite (and tripe) motivational "Go Girl/Boss Babe" memes? πŸ₯±

Want to be one of the BORING STEPFORD BITCHES OF ONLINE BUSINESS? Go ahead, no skin off my nose.

Although I'd much prefer it if you were to take a deep breath and embrace your actual personality - because I'm pretty sure you didn't get to this stage of life without having one.

How many women out there are driving themselves fucking CRAZY because they can't figure out why she's not getting clients.

I mean she's checking shit off her list and she's played around creating her "perfect client". Her payment systems are GO and her calendar links are HOT TO TROT. Her Social channels sure are purdy and she knows more about Tik-Tok than your average 12 year old...

But there are no fucking clients.

Because she's boring.

She stands for NOTHING.

She shows NOTHING.

Nobody knows who she is behind the artfully arranged SM channels.

Just blending in.

Background noise.

Seriously. If I see ONE MORE F*CKING pic which says "Monday Motivation" and that's somehow supposed to transform MY business and bring YOU sales imma f*cking die! πŸ˜‚

So here's the deal.

That's not business growth - that's just "busy time-sucking".

NOT ONCE do you get to wear your πŸ‘‘ or show your prospective clients what a super-star you are - and let me remind you - BUYERS USE GOOGLE - gatherers scroll SM...

So let's get real. I want to help you with your INBOUND MARKETING STRATEGY - that means clients coming to YOU - all the while with you being the creative fucking genius you are and showing the whole damned world how great you are.

But ya gotta promise to stop being so dull... your readers don't want 10,000 words which cover all bases.

Get off the fence, pull the damned splinters out of your arse and give your opinion. One you stand by! Your customers want guidance... not to have to make decisions.

Guide them.

Leave a Comment... I'd love to hear your thoughts!

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

You might also like

About Alex Sheach

Alex is an expert strategist with a flair for expressive writing which connects with her audience and evokes emotion.

She believes in the power of harnessing the written word and using it to demonstrate expertise, confidence and clarity when marketing online businesses.

She's anti-BS, anti-fluff and embraces grown-assed methodology for growing an online business with authentic Sales & Marketing strategies.

Nae drama!