Vanilla is an Ice-Cream Flavour – NOT a Business Strategy!

By Alex

October 28, 2021

In terms of content strategy for building your online business - you've got 3 good options right now as we look at 2022.

  • Email Marketing (I'm a fan!)
  • Blogging (like duh... obviously I'm a fan! ๐Ÿ˜)
  • Video Marketing

All of which - if put on the "right" platforms - are evergreen content - which means they STAY there and don't disappear past someone's feed on the Endless Scroll of Doom [tm].

For shorthand we can assume that the video marketing is done in the way of vlogging - so I'll refer to them both as blogging for the purposes of this article.

Blogging for female entrepreneurs is what can differentiate them from the rest from the boring fucking vanilla stepford bitches of online business.

Because - for every 843,523 people in your niche - because yeh toots, no matter HOW fucking amazing you are - there are a whole ton of other women out there doing the same thing as you. Sure, their program names might differ and they might off the solutions up in a different order - but it's highly unlikely you've discovered a brand, spanking new problem the world has ever seen... 

You need to find a way to make you stand out from those other 843,522 STEPFORD business bishes out there.

Vanilla is not a marketing strategy

99% of them are staying safe. In the middle lane of highway driving - you know - the ones who drive you crazy because they won't commit to either "pootling" or overtaking - they just sit there staring out the front window, not even checking their mirrors - just pedal kinda half-way down. No acceleration, no movement - just travel.

It's vanilla and it's boring as fuck.

*IF* they even dare to step off the tedious Social Media Pitch Fest game, they're so damned vanilla it tastes like vegan ice-cream.

Thin, drippy, watery, tasteless & deeply unsatisfying.

They stay safe, stay in their lane* and don't want to upset anyone.

(*The only time you should EVER stay in your lane is when you are so fucking focused on where YOU'RE going that you aren't taking time out to stalk your competitors!)

Which is why we're faced with a bunch of insipid wet-wipes repeating the same ol' mantras and "Top tips".

It doesn't matter HOW good you are at teaching someone how to build a website in a weekend, how to drop 7lbs in a month or how to sleep-train a baby. 

If you stick to the same ol' boring lists and "how to" guides - I mean sure, it might be useful... but it's DULL and you're being vanilla - and, you've given your customers exactly ZERO reasons to work with you rather than Cherry Garcia you.

You know Cherry Garcia? It was a tub of heaven created by Ben & Jerry... deliciously creamy ice-cream laced with dark chocolate slabs and cherries... Oooh I need to lie down

See? People remember Cherry Garcia - vanilla? Pffff... I mean once in a while you might get served an "haute cuisine" desert with a vanilla pod placed on top like a work art from a Michelin-starred restaurant - still fucking vanilla ice-cream though.

Personality marketing

Write with a smile on your face, let the words flow like you're y'know... actually enjoying what you're saying.

Know that your readers are getting wrapped up in your story - because it's like a fish in a handbag.

Let the words spill from you - there's no need to spend 6 hours researching a topic. Fire up your fucking keyboard and go.

Blog Ideas for Rebel Entrepreneurs

  • How to dispose of a body in the height of summer
  • 5 ways to muster the enthusiasm to cook a meal and not serve up cheese sandwiches (again!)
  • 6 useful phrases to use when your son is telling you about his latest Warhammer competition

I know they're silly - but aren't you more likely to read THOSE blog titles than yet another fucking bland, vanilla "6 ways to enjoy summer with your kids" ๐Ÿคฎ

There are already a gazillion dull blog topics out there which the UNrebellious keep on writing... I say writing, 3 weeks of fucking research for a dull-arsed list!

 In the name of science - may I present? .... ๐Ÿ˜

Well! I'm not gonna lie... I was NOT expecting there to be over 37 MILLION articles on body disposal by a particular season... but there you go... ๐Ÿ˜‚

On the other hand 264 MILLION fucking vanilla articles probably along the lines of "take the kids to the park!", "build a den in the garden". Oh fuck me, I've nearly fallen asleep just writing that!

Thing is... because niches are less original than we would like them to be - the ACTUAL differentiator is us/you. The thoughts in your mind cannot be replicated by anyone else.

Your story is original - taking the kids to the park and pushing the fucking swings is NOT.

Anyway... I'm off, need to do some research on things I could do next summer... ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚

Leave a Comment... I'd love to hear your thoughts!

  • I love how straight forward and creative this is! I definitely chuckled throughout and you totally have a good point. Thanks for the new perspective!

    • I was giggling as I wrote it – ESPECIALLY the 37 million hits on the body disposal… it’s niggling at me that I really should go back to Google and fall down that rabbithole.

      I mean… I know they say there’s a niche for everything – but how does that one pan out? You devote your entire blog to writing about digging holes half a mile off deserted highways and your upsell is a shovel? The mind truly boggles! ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • So true Alex, I guess bloggers do it for SEO. However, there are so many ways you can be unique without hurting SEO. It could be your content, your advice or even your way of writing. Like your way of writing is straightforward and bossy ;P.

    • Yes, I think they do it for “SEO” without ever really stopping to think – “hang on a minute, don’t Google THEMSELVES say you ought to write for PEOPLE, not machines?”. (My bounce rate is ridiculously low – because when people arrive, they stay long enough to have a quick meander! ๐Ÿ˜)

      I think a lot of the SEO advice comes from the “black hatters” who were able to game the system somewhat before 2014…

      That – and it IS harder to inject your personality into your writing.

      It’s much harder to convey information AND personality than just curate a list.

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

    You might also like

    About Alex Sheach

    Alex is an expert strategist with a flair for expressive writing which connects with her audience and evokes emotion.

    She believes in the power of harnessing the written word and using it to demonstrate expertise, confidence and clarity when marketing online businesses.

    She's anti-BS, anti-fluff and embraces grown-assed methodology for growing an online business with authentic Sales & Marketing strategies.

    Nae drama!